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Breakup

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It’s official. The “Supreme Court of Relationships” has issued its decision on my one year and three month relationship, I and my former partner, JDG are now separated.

 

I am again, single.

 

Many dreams and hopes have also drained away as we have both decided to split up. For more than a month, my partner has displayed all the symptoms of a relationship about to go into comatose – cancelled dates with all kinds of excuses, cold treatment and incapacity to communicate.

 

And for that whole month, I have gone through the rounds of mourning over my dying relationship – anger (I have always thought of you as a good man), bitterness (I will curse your name until last my breath), rejection (go ahead, break up with me. Several other men just can’t wait to have me in bed!), loss of self esteem (Am I not worth it?) to thankfully, humble acceptance (Okay, I get it, you want to break up with me).

 

I have learned from yoga philosophy that when something is painful and it is beyond our control – don’t hold on, just let go!

 

And that’s exactly what I’m doing right now – learning to let go while reminding myself that I am single, stronger and “fucking desirable”!

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7 Responses

  1. hi…id be there soon……i can help you let go using a bean bag! =) mwah!

  2. As for me, I prefer the pity party breakup method. Get your gay friends together (since most straight people, even sympathetic ones, don’t quite get the fact that we actually fall in love for long) and have them list all the reasons why you are too good for your ex. (You reserve the right to get angry with them for not telling you this earlier).

    Then, after they all go home, you get out your beer and listen to country music breakup songs (since your gay friends want to express sympathy, but listening to the Red-Headed Stranger or Phases and Stages is a bit much to ask of them). A couple of times through a Willie Nelson album, and you should be good to go.

    The polymath HP Mendoza has written a nice cycle of gay breakup songs on his Nomad album as well. The angsty bitter “Just Like You” always makes me laugh when I think about my ex. http://tinyurl.com/Just-Like-You

    Here’s a toast to your love life, Mr. Bonife. He was no good for you. There are plenty of other guys who just can’t wait to have you in bed. You are free, young, single, and “fucking desireable.” Cheers.

  3. Mare lets celebrate na lang dahil Single ka na ulit..Its not your lost naman di ba?
    Cheers

  4. change, the nature of existence, meets the confused human, suffering for his inability to perceive that nature. as HH Dalai Lama says, “when you lose, don’t lose the lesson.” from my very limited perspective, it doesn’t sound like your desirability was at issue (in terms of the breakup). it sounded like normal communication and intimacy problems that come as relationships grow.

  5. Frankly Lex, we all go through it. what makes your break up special is you. You alone. You made it possible to make the relationship and you made it possible to break it as well.

    You worked hard enough as it is during the relationship, don’t tire yourself out after the break up. It happens.

  6. There’s always the 2nd book of the Meyer line of vampires in our times to make you see more than the usual zombies after a break up. Read New MOon after twilight and you’ll see what i mean.

  7. i’m sorry to hear that. things always get better dear.

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