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Breakup

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It’s official. The “Supreme Court of Relationships” has issued its decision on my one year and three month relationship, I and my former partner, JDG are now separated.

 

I am again, single.

 

Many dreams and hopes have also drained away as we have both decided to split up. For more than a month, my partner has displayed all the symptoms of a relationship about to go into comatose – cancelled dates with all kinds of excuses, cold treatment and incapacity to communicate.

 

And for that whole month, I have gone through the rounds of mourning over my dying relationship – anger (I have always thought of you as a good man), bitterness (I will curse your name until last my breath), rejection (go ahead, break up with me. Several other men just can’t wait to have me in bed!), loss of self esteem (Am I not worth it?) to thankfully, humble acceptance (Okay, I get it, you want to break up with me).

 

I have learned from yoga philosophy that when something is painful and it is beyond our control – don’t hold on, just let go!

 

And that’s exactly what I’m doing right now – learning to let go while reminding myself that I am single, stronger and “fucking desirable”!

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Delete Friend?

In these days of friendster, multiply and what have you, to delete one’s friend from your list is as easy as it sounds. Just click the “yes” button and it’s done.

I admit, that just like any of these social websites, it has been fairly easy for me to delete friends in my life. Erase people. And forget about them.

After reading the book of Alvin Toeffler (Future Shock), well the book was written way back in the 60’s so the future in this text actually refers to our present time, Toeffler states that our friendships are no longer bound by our geographic locations. People build relationships because of their common interests. And at certain point in our lives, people suddenly change interests hence, friendships eventually come to an end.

 Many friends in my life have failed me in one small way or another. And I’m sure in many ways, albeit unknowingly, I have also failed them. In these instances, there are only two options that I give myself: forgive and rebuild the friendship or forgive but say goodbye to the person.

 To me forgiving is a must in every option. As I have no plans of carrying unnecessary emotional baggages against any person.

But rebuilding a friendship or letting go of a person is a decision one must stand on firmly. And admittedly, most of the time, I always choose the latter. Because I know, I could never change people. That’s why I always choose to let go.