It’s official. The “Supreme Court of Relationships” has issued its decision on my one year and three month relationship, I and my former partner, JDG are now separated.
I am again, single.
Many dreams and hopes have also drained away as we have both decided to split up. For more than a month, my partner has displayed all the symptoms of a relationship about to go into comatose – cancelled dates with all kinds of excuses, cold treatment and incapacity to communicate.
And for that whole month, I have gone through the rounds of mourning over my dying relationship – anger (I have always thought of you as a good man), bitterness (I will curse your name until last my breath), rejection (go ahead, break up with me. Several other men just can’t wait to have me in bed!), loss of self esteem (Am I not worth it?) to thankfully, humble acceptance (Okay, I get it, you want to break up with me).
I have learned from yoga philosophy that when something is painful and it is beyond our control – don’t hold on, just let go!
And that’s exactly what I’m doing right now – learning to let go while reminding myself that I am single, stronger and “fucking desirable”!
Filed under: sexuality, Thoughts in Text | Tagged: breakup, gay relationship, relationships | 7 Comments »